"Now I totally want to sleep with a girl," I said.

"Yeah, that looked like fun," Kali agreed.

There was a long pause.

"But we know we'd never sleep together. It would never happen. We've already discussed it, it would be too weird," I said.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"But if I did sleep with a girl," she said, "it'd be with you because you're the only person I trust like that."

"Yeah," I said. "But it would be weird. But not that weird...."

We kept eying each other, a little disturbed and a lot horny.

There was another long pause.

I looked over at Kali. She looked back, and said, "I haven't shaved."

Bootless: August 15, 2003

Kali and I pretended to be going out all night. It's just our thing, recently. Kali decided that Damien's birthday present this year, after he admitted to drooling at the idea of him, me, and Kali all in bed together, would be a framed picture of Kali and me kissing. We told Ben this. He laughed hard.

School shopping commences tomorrow, do I need to say more? Although I would like to thank Uncle Sam for sending my refund check promptly as that is what will be used to help ease the pain a little tomorrow when the outfitting ensues. I hate shopping, it's just not my thing, unless I'm shopping for books or CD's I have to mentally gear up for it as I hate it with a passion. Take note men, a woman who doesn't like to shop, yes there is always a first. *G*

My baby a week from tomorrow will start Jr High, damn where does the time go? I think I am more nervous than she is, jr. high seems so grown up. I think I'm going to have a hard time when the last little birdie leaves the nest. I didn't have problems with the first one, and don't think I'll have problems with the second one, but the baby will be the hardest and the fact she's a girl will make it even harder. Sigh.. Damn kids, have to go and grow up.

The problem with me is that I'm getting older. I'm finding that my age is starting to take its toll. I now agree that love is the greatest turn-on. That's probably why I feel the way I do now. Love is the one thing I'm not sharing with any of these women.

I've never been one to need a relationship in order to function properly. I've taken them as they came and never really hunted them down. This is because, of course, the one thing you search for is the one thing that refuses to be found. (Who knew love and my car keys had so much in common?)

With that said, I guess I now know what I'm after but am convinced that I'll never find it if I go looking for it. That sounds simple enough.

Today we went for dinner on Cambie, then proceeded to Chinatown, where we passed NewTown Bakery, which is reknown for their jumbo, "old-school" steamed buns. My mother exclaimed at the large crowd outside the bakery / restaurant, and I told her about the huge buns they sold, ~$1.50 a bun, and well worth every penny. That $1.50 is lunch to me, just because of the sheer size of the bun, as well as their generousity with the fillings. *drool*

My mother surprised me in response, telling me that *that* was the bakery that, in my childhood, I wouldn't leave or pass by without stopping to sing a full "Happy Birthday" song. She was giggling while she told me of how a lady at the flower auctions was cracking up when she relayed the same story to her.

"I can't believe you go around telling people that story!" I gasped, but inside, I was smiling.

I realize my posts lately have fallen into one of three categories: picture postings, lists, and my horoscope. To be honest, my motivation to write long, introspective posts about my life is nil. I still read my friends' page multiple times a day, whether it's illuminatispy23's political rants, leenerella's articulate soliloquies, fletch31526's girl troubles/successes, chemchick80's declarations and proof of owning all you suckas, robertgarret's intentionally cryptic girl entries, queadluun_rau's always-interesting religion and society monologues, educatedidiot's life is normal posts, weeesa's droolings, brianwj's need for balance while carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and everyone else.
(See? I do pay attention!) I just am at a point where writing isn't doing it for me anymore. So, with that in mind:

from astro.com: (please be true!)

The scars on my psyche? My brain or mind, or whatever you want to call them? Why is it that I don't know how they got there, I don't know what caused them, why, exactly, that I have no self confidence, that I hate the lower half of my body, that a bad haircut can -- no, honestly, it's not that bad even, it's just not what I expected -- can upset me for a couple days? When did I become this fragile? Isn't scar tissue supposed to be strong? What about scar tissue of the psyche? Why is it that the mere thought of trying to find a job, much less, god forbid, actually GETTING one, is enough to exhaust and depress me? .

Run Sheet has not been updated this month.

I'm sure plenty of people have heard about the story of this guy who was accepted into UNC (with a 1600 SAT! We mustn't forget that! He got a 1600!) and then proceeded to stop attending class, such that he subsequently bombed his classes, and UNC rescinded the offer of admissions.

Naturally, he sued. Which is silly for a variety of reasons, but I'm mainly surprised that UNC actually rescinded the offer. This kid has "burnout waiting to happen" written all over, so it seems perfectly reasonable for UNC to do that. Where they screwed up, though, was in takin so long to tell him. His first reaction, though, should have been--if he's so serious about really wanting to go to UNC and all--to call NC State and get himself into college for the fall, knowing full well that if he did well for a year, transferring in would be no problem.

But what this kid really needs is to take some time off, work a crap job, and be reminded of why he needs to bother to go to class and not go crying to his parents to bail him out. Hopefully, in the process he could have his ego knocked down a few notches, too. The plus side would be that he could head off the inevitable burnout, and go to Carolina if he really wants to. Obvioously, I have some experience in this area, but I'd like to think I lack the incredible ego that this guy has.

Aine has not updated this month.