June 16, 2003

I haven't felt like myself lately. For one, my life hasn't been the same..uhh...pace. I haven't had the same tedious schedule. I haven't had time to do any "me" things.

and yet I have. I can't explain it.

For the past few weeks I have not felt the same sense of normalcy. I feel empty, hollow. A heartless laughter. I should be having fun.

But I'm not.

I should be beaming at the anniversary dinner of my great aunt and uncle, even if I'm not that close to them (nor can I stand them that much either). I should be cheering with my teammates for our "1st place" award at the dragonboat. I should be enthusiastic at work.. proud of my achievements; grateful for my father, glad to meet new people, happy to be free of school...

But I'm not. It feels empty.

I see all the summer moments that I could have caught on media, but I do not feel the dedication and urgency to do it.

Even this entry is coming out sluggish.

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