Beware...this will be a long rambly entry. You have been forewarned. :)

Yesterday was restful. I woke up at eight and did nothing until eleven. Absolutely NOTHING. (that I can remember at this point. It was time well wasted.) At eleven, I watched "The Red Violin" on Bravo for a while. It touched me the same way as when I watched it when it first came out. I love the romanticism of the music, the main "luna" theme, the story of a majestic perfect violin, hand created with love for an unborn child. A later stillborn child. I love how the instrument was haunted, and possessed all who posessed it. "There are, however, many a maladie." And it is still true of the pain, heartache, emotion of today.

Today we went skiing / boarding at Cypress. It was tha BOMB baby!!! We set out at 8 o'clock, but after loading and unloading and pick ups and drop offs and finding our way to everyone's house, we got to the mountain at 10 o'clock.

I chose to ski because Mark set me up with free equipment, plus I was somewhat wary of boarding since what happened to me last year and difficulties getting on and off the chair lifts. It was a cloudy day, warmer at 0 degrees, but chilling winds still brought hail and some snow flurries our way. I had straight skis...I have NEVER used straight skis, and man...I have ultimate respect for anyone with straight skis rather than the lighter, shorter, easier handling shaped skis.

Yes, straight skis are faster, but they ARE....SO....Hard...to MANAGE! not at first but I guess just the psychological fear of long canoes strapped to my feet, weighing me down, laden with ice and snow...it got to me. I did not have a good day on the slopes after faceplanting in the snow a la boarder style, so that shook me up for the rest of the day where I had an immense fear of mountain. During the last few runs, however, I began telling myself that nothing could happen to me....just to regain my carefree mortality that I had once had.

(A couple swigs of cinnamon schnapps didn't hurt either.)

Last year...also at Cypress, I snowboarded for the first time. I thought it was great, until a couple weeks after the trip that I still felt something wrong with the right side of my ribs. I thought it would heal or something. It was a painful, painful healing process.

Anyways. Today. It was the realization of mortality that held me back, kept me from speeding, kept me from fully enjoying the sport. It's like I had no control over my body, that it did not remember how to do things it once did, for the fear of breaking, of pain, of bruising and scratches and the inconvienence of injury. I stood at the top of every steep hill, eyeing it, my own "Kaspar Weiss" in my head, breathing heavily and quickly, almost to the point of hyperventilation.

Man. I thought I was tired the last time I wrote...today I am exhausted. But again, things on the mind that have to be said. It may not mean much to you...but it will mean things to me right now, and somethings, in time.

Greg asked me on the way home what I intended to do with my last weekend before school. I am actually wishing to sleep in...however I probably won't because my conscience will most likely wake me up at regular hours: around 8 o'clock, or possibly 9...if my inner drill sargent (sp?) is feeling less of a bitch.

I have been busy all winter break. First it was trip to Victoria, then Christmas shopping and planning, Christmas dinner, then morning mahjong and post Christmas shopping, dentist appointments and weekend dim sum. Mark was saying how it's like I have reverse insomnia. It's true. Try as I might, the latest I will be able to sleep is 10 am, and if I'm lucky, 10:30 am. Usually it will be eightish. My family is one of early sleepers and risers. However, I sleep fairly "late" for my family, but also wake up as either the first or second one awake. I've always thought that late risers were college students or newlyweds....i think it is somewhat of a waste to wake up at noon or afternoon...half of your day is already gone! Plus I'm more of a day person anyways...and banks and stores and all the good stuff is open, and sometimes being early to some stores may save you GST / PST, or save you shopping around too, to beat!

Or maybe I just come from a long line of stressed out insomniacs. I am becoming more and more like my mother, waking up early or laying in bed late at night, worrying or thinking till wee hours of the night. Things bother us.

Only one weekend left. And then I will begin the last semester of the diploma program, and probably start my degree program in September. We'll see how that goes.

I totally need to relax. I think I am going to stay in tomorrow, steaming up some turnip cake and baking olive-rosemary-parmesan ciabatta. I will TRY to sleep in. FORGET about the jog. SAVOUR the last of my holiday.

We're planning on going to Las Vegas for Chinese New Year. Year of the sheep. Sheep or goat? The pictures in the Chinese zodiac often look like goat, but *yueng* is translated into "sheep". What's the deal?

Exhaustion. Time flies when you're having fun. We were basically on the slopes for eight hours, taking an hour break where I could not get enough food, stuffing myself wth hot beef ravioli soup and saltine crackers, tomato pretz, chocolate chip and shortbread-buttercream cookies, fruit, and lemon wafers. Holy crap. That IS a lot of food. Then again, Jerry gave me wafers and Helen gave me pretz. It was welcomed food though. I cannot complain about free food. :)

Dude. Jerry is so predictable, and unpredictable at the same time. Everyone KNOWS when we go to a restaurant, he will most likely order red meat (BEEF!!) or something fried. It goes without saying. Tonight we went to I-Cafe off of Cambie, and of course, he ordered beef chow mein, and fried chicken wings. Sarah also got fried chicken wings, and at the end, she had a leftover chicken wing. I offered it to a "full" Jerry, who was chowing down on a mouthful of food. He politely declined.

Me and Helen chattered in Cantonese, "Oh, he'll eat it." "yep, just watch...after he swallows his food.." Sure enough, within five minutes, Jerry had "room" for the extra chicken wing. hehe. This is, of course, the guy who, when he was a youngster, went to Macdonalds in Chile and ate McNuggets until he puked, then ate some more. ahahahha. Oh Jerry.