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I am restless. I slept poorly last night, getting into
bed at eleven and waking up several times through the
night. I was wide awake at four o'clock, and the time
just slowed..slowed slowed...until i had to get up.
I have been meaning to write for so long, to tell of my brother, my assignments, my hilarious school, to tell tales of love. And now I am here, but tired. I had dinner alone tonight..my brother has come home and he is a snob about food. He has been stuffing us with rich rich food from his adopted california dad -- my father sent him there to teach him a lesson and learn some of the trade, but i feel it was a wrong decision. He is arrogant as he ever was. My brother is Canadian...but now, now he is anti-Canada and pro Singapore, pro America....the boy is confused. And it is unfair. Because, as I have said time and time again...he is my father's son and I am only my mother's daughter. They are forever spending on him, paying his gas, his money, his fare....hell if they did that to me too I wouldn't ever leave home. But I would. There is more to life than your parents' wallet and I know there is more to see and appreciate if you work for it yourself. My brother...my brother just turned 26 last week. He is an unemployed, healthy, youthful young man. But he is arrogant and charming in that way that he would have people believe that he is an angel, but could never suffice to live on his own. I wish for him and his new girlfriend to get married...she the rich big spending s'porean and he, the spoiled arrogant anti-Canada Canadian boy. I wish them to start their life together, independant of their parents' money..so i can laugh. yep. sounds so evil of me huh. But my brother needs to learn lessons. And not from me and not from stories, but from living them. I hope I can see the day. Two weeks to go. I can hardly wait for Christmas and skiing and REST. I want a night of fulfilling rest... no worries, nothing hanging over my head. I want it done for this year. Jessica, 7:40pm
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