*freestyle*


A dog came into my store yesterday and shat on me. It hurt for the evening but all I needed was a cry for mankind and a nights' sleep.

Mark A listened to me whine and drone on and on about it. All I will say is that she was rude and inconsiderate, especially since she (or so she said) "works in retail."

Stuff like that makes me shake my head.

Which is why I talked to her softly after the confrontation.. because I would have kicked myself in the shins afterwards.

I noticed talking to Mark A on three separate phone calls last night that it was just ...baggage. I have this...unsent / uncared for / unclosed ....THING with people in my past. Such is that with Drano-boy from high school. I actually saw a glimpse of him while I was with Mark at the theatres and froze. ... what the hell with me, letting this mediocre slime of a person get to me, even after all these years? Why hold on to things like that?

And so...after all these repeated incidents...I have to learn to stop holding on.

I have to hand it to Mark A. I give him so much trouble sometimes. I totally guilt trip him all the time and well...i have to admit that it's kind of funny when my mother plays mind games on him and i just let him sweat it out for a while. haha.

But...I repay him dearly. And I owe him dearly for my troubles.

This feels...very different. Sometimes it feels more like a .. friendship than anything else. And then I realize that that's a totally good thing..after all if your SO isn't a friend, what use is it having them be, anyways?

Guess who I bumped into today??

In the oddest of places, in the most out of the ordinary of events. I was in line for a DQ blizzard. On the other side of the mall.

I turn around because I heard a familiar voice, and there was SHELLY!!

I never order ice cream. Unless it's at La Casa Gelato on Venables and...a little past Commercial drive there? or if it's from Mario's Gelato....anyways..rarely ever from DQ (of all places. ....much less do I order ice cream at DQ from the other side of the mall.

And pretty rare too..that Shelly would be at MY mall, SHOPPING, and actually have the afternoon off to do so.

This girl fights to live on her own..and she has two full time jobs, no car, and relies on public transport and her own two legs to get her everywhere.

We both agreed that it was SO fateful that she would be behind me in line..at DQ. Gawd.

We chitchatted and savoured crappy ice cream and caught up... I haven't seen her since...since me and Mark's second date. :) That's cute. But yeah. since then, I've talked to her at most twice on the phone....so between my work and school and her moving twice and hectic schedule..we haven't really been keeping in touch.

It was nice to talk to her, and see her eyes twinkle.

I think I'm pretty lucky that whenever I'm jobhunting, I usually do get the job..or at least an interview. I was telling my cousin about it and the best I could describe it was of the "life" of your eyes...

You know when you're telling a juicy secret or a REALLY good story to a friend, and you're talking SO fast that it barely makes its' way out? It's a matter of harnessing that ..life. Capturing that magic and projecting it towards the person you want to 'see' you.

I see that in Mark. Fuck yeah i know i can't shut up about him but basically i don't think Izzy wants to hear about it anyways. grr.

yeah. there is life in his eyes.

He asked me one day, "Would you still love me if I lost my muscles?" to which I replied several days later, "Would you still love me if I had more muscles than you?" ...which is VERY unlikely as I'd have to be all of a sudden, a 200+ lbs with arms the size of my thighs right now.

I have tomorrow off!! weeeee. SO good. I'm prepared to rush downtown in my halter top dress and get some (well a little) colour. Summer at its' best.

I HATE DIABLO II. It has my brother and sister hogging the computer whenever I REALLY have to use it. What a pain in the ass. And my brother and sister are people with too much time on their hands as well.

...more gossip? Mark B is apparently REALLY prepared to get engaged to Yvonne. Not too much of a shocker, but I wonder, does SHE know? And what will happen? He's already put a down payment on a ring..

You know what's sad? A high school friend of mine just had a baby. A baby. And she's my age. And I'm not even married yet. My god.

Huh?

What's with the Mark A and Mark B stuff?

Mark A is MY Mark. (Mark Asian.. ?) And then Mark B is just the second Mark. Mark B actually came first...remember him? He was my high school buddy that I had a crush on way back when. Isn't that cute? But Mark A is my man. Mark B is still my buddie. Got it?

Cry:

I couldn't figure out what I was crying about when I told Mark last night. but once I hung up and closed my eyes to go to sleep...it came to me -- I was crying for those who are defenceless...defenceless against themselves..the world...their peers. Were those tears of pity, or of pain? Of whom? Perhaps it will come to me in my sleep tonight.

Know what else?

Creepy dreams.
I had a dream of my runaway friend from grade eight. She disappeared during the spring of grade nine. In my dream, she had vampy makeup..red, but beautiful. I cried for her.

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