The Recruit (Foreword)
I've been a firefighter for going on 18 years. Last year I was involved in teaching a class of probationary firefighters, we were having lunch during a break in the training and the discussion turned to what the job is like, one of the innocent, fresh-faced youngsters looked at me with earnestness and asked me this question. I honestly have no idea what my answer was, but the question preyed on me all day afterward. I tried to remember just how many dead or dying people I had seen in all the calls I've attended in my time with the department. It really struck me just how many there had been and how much some of them still hurt..

"Seen any dead bodies?"

Jesus Christ...
What a stupid question
17 years of this
I lost count 16 years ago

Don't ask me that, kid
don't ask me about the ones who puked on me
who fountained spew as I tried to open airways
don't ask about the ones whose blood still stains my gear
the wailing spouses
and children
and parents
or the looks of the bystanders

Don't ask me about kneeling in rain and darkness
easing bodies from wreckage
the drowned woman I still see
the kid under the truck
finding that the splintered man I was working on
I knew

Don't ask me about the burned ones
slipping from my hands as their fat rendered in the heat
the faces I see when I pass some corners
the ones I see when it rains, where the tree is still scarred from the impact

Don't ask me about the ones who begged me to save them
or a loved one
when I knew there was no way in hell

Don't ask me about working in bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms
feet slipping in guts, blood, shit, and vomit
in cars, under cars
everywhere
anywhere

Kid
don't ask me

Cause you'll see  soon enough

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