00/04/17

I'm sick of my church.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I was raised in an athiest household.There was no god allowed in my father's house. Religion was for weak people, God was a myth, and so on and so on.

I always secretly looked around for god, this search was one of  my one closely-guarded secrets. I never knew where I woud find him, but I strongly suspected he was out there somewhere.

Christianity was where I looked first but I'm afraid I just couldn't deal with that at all. Perhaps it was the whole "God is love... but if you piss him off you'll burn in hell forever" thing. I'm afraid that just didn't make sense.

I looked around a bunch of different places, learning a little about each religion, but embraced none. I fund a lot to admire in each, and stuff to believe in in each, but none that leapt up and siezed my soul. The Unitarian church showed up and I thought I had found my spiritual community.

I've been going to the local Unitarian church for a couple of years now. It's a church with principles that I can embrace. Its a church that values the diversity of the human community, a church that encourages social responsibility. It's a church that encourages the seeking of spiritual discovery by embracing all views of god and encouraging its members to seek out the words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love. We look for wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life.

Unfortunately this church is run by humans. An annoying trait of humans is the desire to judge and manipulate. More and more the services revolve around the political views of certain influential members and less around the spiritual journeys of us all. I've brought this up a few times but it seems that i'm the only one who feels strongly about it.

I find myself wanting to go there less and less. It really makes me sad. I thought I had found people who I could connect with, but it turns out I haven't.

Unfortunately I seem to be finding less and less people I want to be with in general lately.
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