SMOKY'S PAGE

Run Sheet

01/07/15

My wife doesn't understand me.

I know it's been said a hundred times before, but it's true, she just doesn't understand my basic needs. Sure, we have a good relationship, but, well, let's face it... she has no concept of naps.

Naps are one of the truly important staples of physical and emotional well-being. Unfortunately, Mary is a phillistine when it comes to unconsciousness. She sleeps, but she only sleeps. she doesn't nap

For example; When we were shopping for a couch ten years ago I was looking with napping in mind, I have no idea what she was looking for, practicality or something equally foolish.

A good napping couch needs to be at least six inches longer than you are, and has to be wide enough so that you can lay on your back without feeling like you're going to topple off. The one we finally bought is a prime napping couch.

Mary just doesn't understand what a nap IS . She seems to feel that if I want to nap. I should just go get into bed. This is clearly impossible. A nap is not sleep A nap is something else entirely. A nap is something you wake up from and feel refreshed. A sleep is something that requires a period of recovery.

There are a number of strict rules about naps.

They must never be taken before noon.
If they are taken in the evening they must end before 8 PM and must not extend past this time.
Naps are always taken on couches. The only possible exception to this rule is if one is taken on a bed. It is essential that a nap not be taken under the covers of a bed. If a bed is used then the subject must take it on top of the covers. (a light afghan is permitted. If the bed covers are used it becomes a sleep and is disqualified.)
Afternoon naps must be taken with the TV on. The TV is optional in evening naps.
The only acceptable reason for anyone to be intentionally awoken from a nap is to recieve food, otherwise the subject MUST be left to awake on his own.

This afternoon I woke up from a standard afternoon nap, stretched and was greeted with the question about why I didn't just go to bed if I wanted to sleep. I tried again to explain my needs to her, lord knows I tried, but I guess these are just irreconcilable differences.

I ask no more from my wife than any other man might, I mean really, these are natural laws that have existed since the beginning of time.

Is this so hard to understand??

Email me