I guess it's a cliche' to say you see a lot of things in this job, but you do, you see a lot of things, hear, smell, feel and sometimes *gag* taste them.

We meet a lot of people and share a few minutes with them, hear a bit of their stories, and do what we can to quell their fears. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes in ten minites or so with an old man in his living room, lessons are learned that will guide us for the rest of our lives.

This morning we responded to a call for a medical assist. We get called for stuff like that because we can usually arrive faster than the ambulance. We get called, roll to the call, and provide basic life support for the first ten or fifteen minutes sometimes. Other times the ambulance is already there and we assist lifting really big patients, or one of us rides along with the ambulance in case the patient arrests. Other times all we do is take a quick assessment of the patient, and let the paramedics know what's what so they can get to work.

The call was in one of our mobile home parks. Actually it was in the nicest one there is around here, a very well-kept place with a very tightly knit community of senior citizens. The ambulance and Fire department are common sights there as quite a few of these oldsters have various medical problems. They know my jeep, and they know our rigs and treat us like we're friends visiting. It's kind of neat really.

It was 0450. Early in the morning. When I started in this job one of the long-serving members told me that "In this job, nothing good EVER happens after midnight and before breakfast" He was right.

When I entered the home there was an elderly gentleman sitting on the living room couch, he was wearing pajamas and a robe, belted and tied neatly. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he was having chest pains. He didn't have the terrified look that most of them have, he looked me in the eye and answered my questions clearly and fully.

I addressed the pain in his chest "Ever had pain like this before?"

"Yes"

"Do you have any heart problems?"

"Yes, quadruple bypass in '98 and three heart attacks since"

I made my decision right then, there is a time to ask all the stock questions and keep stay with the book, and there's a time to throw it out. Normally we work through a set protocol with chest pain patients, we assume they're having a heart attack all the time, and treat them as such, but we don't usually tell them we assume it, don't want to upset them further. This guy was pretty clear about what was going on.

"What's your name sir?"

"Dwayne Fergus"

"Mind if I call you Dwayne"

"Go right ahead"

"My name's Bryant, you say you've had three heart attacks since your bypass, right?"

"Yes"

"Well you'd know better than I would how you feel when you're having one, are you having one right now?"

He looked at me quizzically for a minute, I guess no medic had ever asked him for HIS opinion before. I figureed it only made sense.

"Well Bryant, I'd say I am, my big question is whether or not it's the LAST one"

I smiled at him and said "Well Dwayne, I'll do everything I can to make sure it isn't"

From there we got on with the usual questions, which he answered by rote, like he always had, there were no surprises there for either of us. The rescue rig and the ambulance arrived, assessed him, bundled him up and took him away. We picked up our equipment and loaded it back on the rig.

I was struck, and have been since at what his life must be like. He's waiting to die, he's been to the edge enough times that it doesn't seem to scare him much, He seems to have recognized that it really, really, really is going to happen to him, the only mystery now is when, and what happens after. He didn't look like a deer in the headlights like so many of them do, he looked like someone who was waiting for the dentist. Nervous, a little scared, but resigned to the inevitable. It might hurt, it might be unpleasant, but it's gonna happen no matter what.

I don't know how many times I've been struck by the thought in the last 20 years, but I really hope I can go out with that kind of dignity when its my turn.

When we were slamming our bin doors shut, and getting ready to turn the rescue around, Dwayne's neighbour came over with his handds in his pockets, looking worried and eyeing the ambulance that was just rolling out.

"Morning guys"

"Hi Bill"

"Looks like Dwayne's not too bad, none of you are in the ambulance with him, so he must be okay for now"

"That's about the size of it"

"Heart attack?"

"Yep"

"Okay... you guys need a cup of coffee?"

So there we stood, watching the sun come up and drinking coffee in the dawn chewing the fat with Bill while Dwayne rolled in the ambulance to the hospital. No one was worked up, no one was distressed. It happens, and will to all of us.

I have no idea if Dwayne came home or not, either way would be no surprise to me.

The really comforting thing is that either way would be no surprise to him either.
 
 
 
 
 

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